my phone's audio transcription:

OK I keep trying to write this down but is not going very well so I will try and do this at a post again today is Friday, October 18 and it is 9:25 PM so I decided to talk about who is an expert on love and why they think they're in expert on love and why I didn't entirely set out to become or seek to become an expert on love but hell I decided that I i wanted to dive deeper into the subject and just kind of learn about the emotion the emotions of all the love and etc. so i think to start off I I don't think I think about but in this way but I guess just to get started I it was probably a year after I broken up with someone and so basically my eyes I i had filled out love or whatever you would like to call that so I just wondered what that why that happened I mean not personally like within my relationship but why that happens with everyone like why and how do we fail at something and that depends on each person because within love and within each relationship every single experience emotion experience I just said that I think him just everything is so different between each individual person you could have so many friendships and romantic relationships and everyone of those can be different you can be a different person with another person I think that's the most wild thing that I've come across is that I maybe it's because I'm a Libra and I will change myself depending on which person I'm talking to maybe I making that up maybe that's not even just exclusively a labor thing but I feel like since all those relationships are different I went at it trying to seek and find a commonality and why relationships work and why relationships fail and some but those things so I was just super confused on like why there was not standards why they're not rules and I don't think I'm really someone who specifically follow the rules but I think in photography especially were taught to no the rolls learn them so well and then at that point every like everyone ever festers like OK dad's at the point where you know those rules so well that you can break them but if you needed to go back to them or you needed to follow something to a T you could go back and find those things so it started as that trying to find the reasons for why everything is so different but how could we love without a rulebook and when everything so different how can we compare a love with one person to a your love with another person or even just My relationship with my son every other to your relationship and your significant other I think all of that is so difficult and so when we talk about love are we talking about the same thing I'm not entirely sure I don't think so i think my idea love is so much different than your idea of love or one's idea of love and that being Saturday how big is so difficult and so I think that's why also and I really like talking about audio only work with audio but with audio has has not been discussed enough and are not so many rules for it right now that it feels kind flag really ambiguous like where do we go with it what can it do we haven't really i had enough experience with it as like an artistic medium to really say or make a full on definition and find its boundaries of what are the rules and help me break them i think we're starting to get there but I don't think were really there so I think it's the same left and I think that's why I try to push the audio aspect of it because they're both they're both no rules right now so we're just kind of like making things and seeing what there's no basis for what what it should feel like what it what we should do how we should treat someone who he loves and what is love that's cute question which is not going to answer right now but it's it's crazy because it's just how do you know when you feel it and if it's different for everyone else again we don't know the rules but also we don't know what it feels like between people and people and you can't say oh I think you like you don't love that person because you have no idea and is that is just the craziest part of the whole thing and that is why it is so endless interesting and I think we can make assumptions so many times of based on with what we decide is love and other people so this was a few years ago but one of my really close friends recently started dating someone and I think I was so scared for them because they were putting all of this formation on the Internet and it was moving very very fast and I think out of my fear for them as my friend I was very nervous about how fast it was going and about how fast they were calling their relationship love and the more I think about it the more I have really no right to say anything about it so I don't know I don't know what their relationship is I don't know there relationships in the past and I don't know anything about that so I think love is so deeply deeply personal and I think you can obviously love in so many ways and this is really convoluted but I think you're sick that's why it's so exciting and that's why I truly believe no one is an expert on love I guess you can be in expert on the science of it like matchmaking like Helen I forgot her last name but she's very famous and she's like I start organizing match.com and so she is what would you consider like a love science expert in that way but like no one is allowed expert and I guess there's gathers matchmaking or whatever but like it is absurd to me and I the reason why I am interested in this whole thing is also the reason why it's like killing me and it's I'm being pulled in every single direction I mean most of them are very exciting and I just threw my reading I have found better where's to care for myself love other people and then also find that desire is a huge factor and love in hell it I think a lot of what I call love is actually just desire so I think there's a huge twist in what I am thinking is love and that's kind of what I found out from diving deeper into love and why I i consider myself a love expert but in that way I've been able to kind of look at what I was calling i love and dissect it and just kind of pull back and be like well wait that's not exactly but I was thinking that it was which is kind of crushing you just want to say you love someone you just want to like that's that's what we what we all want isn't it not sure and a movie night and for other people but yes I just took a turn which is very interesting and yeah I have many more thoughts on yes but I have work in the morning and hopefully I'll be able to turn this into some actually thoughtful riding and not just me about the back-and-forth peace